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    The Vatican just Released a Medicine

    It could prevent Catholic priests from ever raping again. In a press conference today Pope Francis announced that all new clergy members beginning in 2019 will be required to have the vaccine. Administration of the medicine is done in 3 shots, 6 months apart, over the course of a year.

    The vaccine is the result of 8 years of intense labor inside the laboratories beneath Vatican City. These labs preyed upon the sick and homeless, injecting them with test versions of the vaccine until they finally got it working.

    Scientists who were called upon to independently verify the validity of the Vatican’s claims were stunned. “This is completely illegal,” commented Howard Johnson, head of the United States foreign affairs for Europe.

    But the church technically operates above the law, and outside observers noted that, Catholic priests can still rape if they want to, because they have permanent immunity and cannot be prosecuted for crimes. Pennsylvania was most recently rocked when 3,000 cases of clergy abuse surfaced, but police confirmed that it’s not possible to charge the clergy members.



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