Monday, April 15, 2024
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    Uvalde Police Enter School for the First Time

    Months have passed since the shootout at Uvalde ended, however only now have the police decided it’s safe to enter the building.

    Paramedics and family members have spent the last few months entering and exiting the school building every day. But the police had set up their camp outside, and completely refused to enter the school.

    The police chief stated, “it would be super scary to go in, not knowing if another shooter could still be hiding.” Meanwhile thousands of regular people continued entering and exiting the school daily, as the rooms had already been cleared and the hostage situation was over.

    Finally, today the police tepidly entered the school for the first time. One officer was shivering uncontrollably and another fainted. Critics have pointed out that the police are 90 days late in entering the school, and there is no way they could have expected any survivors.

    In unrelated news, Uvalde county government passed a salary bonus and each officer will receive triple pay plus overtime for their tireless camping outside the school. Most of them will become millionaires over night. They have a party planned tonight and parents of the dead children are all invited.



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