HOLLYWOOD, CA — What was supposed to be a quiet afternoon on the Hollywood Boulevard, quickly spiraled into a spectacle of epic proportions when Amber Heard, fresh from her surprising career switch from actress to U.S. Marshal, arrested none other than her ex-husband, Johnny Depp.
Ever since Heard hung up her Aquaman trident in favor of a Marshal’s badge, Hollywood has been abuzz with speculation. However, no one anticipated this ‘lawful’ twist in the Heard-Depp saga.
“Amber had mentioned she was going after big fish,” shared Heard’s boot camp buddy, Justin Thyme. “But Depp? This is a plot twist not even M. Night Shyamalan could have seen coming!”
Apparently, Heard discovered evidence implicating Depp in some shady tax evasion schemes, leading to the high-profile arrest outside Depp’s grand Hollywood mansion.
Hollywood Boulevard has seen its fair share of dramatic moments — protest marches, impromptu concerts, celeb meltdowns — but nothing quite like Depp’s ‘walk of shame’ under the watchful eye of his ex. Heard reportedly even allowed a few minutes for Depp to put on his signature accessories — an oversized hat and tinted glasses — before commencing the perp walk.
Bewildered celebrities emerged from their homes to witness the spectacle, their faces a perfect blend of shock, amusement, and that peculiar joy one derives from not being the one at the center of the scandal.
“Is this some kind of method acting?” asked a confused Keanu Reeves, who lives a few doors down from Depp. Meryl Streep was seen applauding the performance, and Robert Downey Jr. quickly launched an ‘Iron Man to the Rescue’ crowdfunding campaign for Depp’s legal fees.
Meanwhile, the internet exploded with memes, theories, and hashtags, with #DeppWalk and #AmberTheArrestor trending worldwide. As legal eagles swoop in and Tinseltown reels from the shock, everyone agrees on one thing: Hollywood Boulevard has never seen a day quite like this.
Whether Heard’s pursuit of justice is a sequel in her personal saga with Depp or an honest effort to uphold the law, only time will tell. Until then, stay tuned for more episodes in this unbelievable reality drama that’s turned Hollywood into a giant, open-air theater.