WASHINGTON D.C. — In a sequence of events that could only be described as a political “hot potato,” Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, known affectionately as AOC, has ended up as the President of the United States. Yes, you read that right. President AOC. How, you ask? Let’s rewind.
First, a bizarre bout of ‘indisposition’ hit the White House this week, taking President Biden and Vice President Harris temporarily out of the action as they recover. The mantle then passed to the Speaker of the House, who surprisingly responded with a resounding “Thanks, but no thanks,” setting off an unprecedented presidential relay race.
With the Speaker’s refusal, the laws of succession dictate that the presidency should be passed down to the President pro tempore of the Senate. However, they seemed just as unwilling to take up the mantle.
As the line of succession kept descending, one after another, officials politely declined the role, citing reasons from ‘allergic to oval-shaped offices’ to ‘can’t find a dog-sitter.’ The scene was reminiscent of a high-stakes game of pass the parcel, but with the parcel being the presidency itself.
The game came to a screeching halt when the parcel landed in the hands of AOC. Known for her outspoken nature and progressive policies, AOC shocked everyone by enthusiastically accepting the role. “Why not?” she said, “It’s high time we shook things up around here!”
Across the nation, responses have been as varied as the reasons for passing on the presidency. Some express concern, others jubilation, while a good chunk of the population is still stuck on the ‘is this really happening?’ stage of processing.
Meanwhile, preparations for the swearing-in ceremony are in full swing, with AOC insisting on a carbon-neutral event. Rumor has it, the presidential limousine has been replaced with a tandem bicycle, and the traditional inaugural ball will be a vegan potluck.
As AOC steps up to the presidential plate, one thing is certain: The political landscape of the United States is about to become even more interesting. While we might not know what to expect, we’re all buckled in for this unexpected roller-coaster ride in the world’s most powerful office. So, stay tuned, America – change is coming, and it’s riding a bicycle!
