Monday, April 15, 2024
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    She Injected Dirt into her Brain: Now She Lives as a Worm

    Isabelle Langton’s friends were alarmed when she began constantly speaking of putting mud in syringes. But she had always been an ‘Organic Health Nut,’ so they brushed it off as another phase. Then one day they actually caught her injecting the mixture directly into her brain stem, but they arrived too late to stop her.

    Now Isabelle lives her life believing that she is a worm. She slithers among the dirt in her backyard, consuming nothing but what she finds underground. Her boyfriend, who declined to be identified for this story, says that Isabelle still expresses mote emotions. He’s even been able to mate with her on occasion, but only after dousing himself in worm pheromones and wriggling next to her.

    HER FAMILY DOCTOR BELIEVES SHE WAS SIMPLY ATTEMPTING TO VACCINATE HERSELF AGAINST THE IMPURITIES FOUND IN PLANTS

    At this point it’s rude to comment on her lifestyle, and if that’s how she chooses to live, we all need to form a community of support around her.



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